Tuesday, December 13, 2005

So close, yet so far away...

We'll start with a spontaneous journal entry in the middle of the night (day):

God the father, loving judge

God the son, my savior,

God the spirit, my companion.

Imagine for a moment someone that is known to you in reverse order from what we normaly would imagine God. Think of someone you have known for ages, who is your daily companion, your friend, and knows you better then yourself. In moments where words fail you, they know just how you feel. Got that part held firm?

Ok, now imagine that person witnesses you making a grave mistake, one that places you in danger of losing who you are, suffering greatly, and finally dying a painful death. They know you, and so are not surprised by this mistake, but neither would they ever let anything harm you if they could help it, and so by a great hero feat they save you at enormous cost to themselves. Not only do they save your life, but this is something that through doing you are inspired and changed. You no longer look at things the same, and though you still make some of the same mistakes you always have, you are encouraged to move past them because of what this person has done for you. Imagine! That would be the best person you could ever ask to know, right?

Now take the last step. Not only are they your close companion, your inspiration, and the one who saved you, they are also now in charge of your fate. They are the one who decides the consequesces for your actions, they hold your life in your hands. They have the authority to make the rules, and their character is such that they would never be unjust. Yet even in their just character, they make ways for you to escape the penalties for your actions that would so surely reclaim you to that fate you escaped by their deeds. You will not always be saved from any discomfort, but you know they let you only suffer the things will grow your character and not those that will destroy you. Like an older tutor in the ways of things, and your closest companion, inspiring you and saving you and judging what is best for you, and indeed your every deed and desire, so is the Lord, your God.

Strong to comfort. Almighty to save. Right to judge.

So there we have an amazing image.

All wrapped into one enigmatic package. So close, yet so far away...

That is where you get into the details. Now I would say the small stuff, but it's not so small, more's the pity. Details are what make things credible, or not. This is not the time yet to discuss such things, but there are arguments and details that sure seem to swirl mists over that compressed core of belief I hold within me. Distance me from that core of belief, and, since it never leaves me, you will create a void within me. You will not, however, defeat that core, for it is compressed, and sometimes it is just that distance, that time of trial and doubt and travel down the hard road, that opens a place for that compressed core of belief and holiness inside to expand into the room you have given it. In the end, I am a bigger person for it.

Pray that the core would grow, that it would expand into my areas of void and fill me again.

Imagine that core as a 3D celtic knot, and as it expands, it allows the eyes to more easy follow its twisting, swirling, and never ending lines in the dance of life.

Grow the Knot.


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